Amber Lights

My mum once said to me that life would be perfect for her if it was like a series of green traffic lights, meaning there were no obstacles and you could sail through it with no problems, that everything was easy basically. I didn’t really like that idea and then I realised that I actually want my life to be a series of amber traffic lights. At every stage I want it to be my choice whether the light turns green or red, and if i want it bad enough, I want to put in the effort and perseverance it takes to turn the light green. For me, having them all green is too easy. I mean, it’s nice to have an easy life and not have to struggle but where is the sense of pride and achievement if you never have to work for anything? There’s no fun in that and you can’t measure your talent or worth against anything if you’re always handed everything. Also, it’s nice to have a choice. You might not always want the light to be green, sometimes you might want it to be red. So really, with amber you can never lose…. 🙂

I’m on my loooong awaited 2 weeks off from work now (yay!) and as usual, the time off has got me thinking about where my life is going and what my next step towards the bigger picture is. Trouble is that right now I know what the bigger picture is but I’m not so sure what the steps to get to it are, and they’re just as important. So that’s what I’m working on. Right now I want to be more diciplined. I think that will help me to work on all of the things I need to be doing as well as carry on working hard at my job. No one can say I don’t work hard for my money, cause I bloody well do, but I need to work on things for myself too and for my future, especially as I have so many things i want to achieve. I need to have more faith in myself and what I can do if i’m ever gonna do something with my talents. although its good to help others, its not always good to use your skills building their dreams and neglecting your own. this is a lesson i’ve learnt recently so i’m gonna focus more on making my own visions a reality  from now on.

I love my grandma – not someting i’ve JUST realised, but something I wanted to share….. she has always been my inspiration and always will be but this is confirmed even more every time i see her and we talk. she’s an amazingly strong woman who has achieved so much – she’s a bilingual writer, recording artist, international performer, public speaker and she runs a charity and centre for women. Even at 69 she’s still got aims that she’s working towards and is making more goals for herself all the time. she’s the definition of a hard worker and i feel empowered just knowing her blood runs through my veins. she’s an example not just to me but to everyone who has a vision, as she’s made all of her visions a reality and is continuting to do so. i’m so proud of her for the person she is, what she’s accomplished and what i’ve learnt from her examples.  one thing i do know is that failure is NOT an option in this life, and if i succeed only to honour all of the sacrifices that i’m a product of, then i will have done my job.

ANYhoo, enough of the deep stuff. in other news…….. I am actually SICK of Westfield. So sick that I can’t actually think of anything worse than stepping foot in there again. The walk to it from my office (which is literally only 5 minutes) feels like the Green Mile and seems to be getting longer and longer the more i have to walk it. It was so good at first but the love affair was short lived. I’m sure I’ll love it again once i start back at work as it really is amazing and convenient, but for now, i hate it.

Hmmm, how can i end on a light note? a christmas song would be nice…. I can’t believe the 25th is like 3 days away! I’ve never worked this close to Christmas before…..maybe because i’ve never worked before….. so the holiday ‘season’ has completely passed me by. I’m trying to get in the mood now though. I’m looking forward to being with the fam and visiting everyone, even though my mum up and left me this xmas. Thank God i’ve got a car and places to go where other loved ones are willing to take me in and feed me. i swear thats been my life, lol….mothers…. So back to the songs – my all time favourite christmas song is ‘This Christmas’ by Donny Hathaway. I actually love Christmas songs and I have a home made mix cd of soulful christmas jams that i press play on every year, but of all of them, this one remains my favourite. I also like India.Arie and Stevie Wonders version of ‘The Christmas Song’, but I can’t find that on youtube so all you’ve got is Donny….. Merry Christmas everyone!

P.S. congrats if you got this far – that was a LONG post!

here’s your reward. Enjoy!

LOL I just discovered this 12 days of christmas parody, it’s mad. If you’re indian youll totally get it but if not, youll probably still get it but it might be a bit less funny, but still funny. at least we can laugh at ourselves eh :p …. omg i actually love it.

Laterzzzz xxxxx


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    mikewalzman said,

    your so right, I think all humans would love not have to deal with pain, but then when you think about how would we grow? How would be build character and the other attributes tough times can give us. It’s when we start to embrace the amber lights as you said, is when we don’t really see them as bad, but actually good.

  2. 2

    D.London said,

    Love it! I know exactly how you feel, but hard work always pays off no matter what.

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